you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So. Much. Porn.
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