He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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