You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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