he thought i was a dude.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
