you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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