I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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