considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
