That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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