even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
