You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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