even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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