I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
