Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
