I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I think a kid would responsible me up
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
