Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
