Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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