i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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