Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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