apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
