for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
