I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
