Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
