pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
