oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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