I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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