the condom got lost in my hair
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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