Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
