Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
