i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
