Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
