he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
