he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
