Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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