Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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