She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
