my vag is so smooth its legendary
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
