Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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