So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
