dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
