she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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