Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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