My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
i now understand why vodka
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
