Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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