Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
