my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
How does one acquire holy water?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
