if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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