They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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