Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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