Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
