with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
