all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
