..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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